Blue Y Velcro // a mood board and mish mosh of feelings

all images are taken from my tumblr

 
 

things that have been inspiring me lately

 

sticking

 

and staying

somewhere deeper than the little light up red hearts and shopping mall song lyrics... 

 
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anime moves in a different way, everything is glossy and detailed and simple and colorful and the light is a dimension in itself. i feel like watching anime has changed how i piece the world together--- how the layers all sit on top of each other--- how the shadows dance on the ground and on the walls of places. its hard for me to actually sit through a movie because i find the take on life so corny-- the way people speak or relate to each other or the way they depict relationships.. its a world i don't like to set foot in. the anime world leaks fantasy into my real world, leaking off the screen...

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the possibility of things just burnt a little hole in my heart... 

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in my art class in elementary school that usually had a substitute that had us make origami (and yelled if we didn't fold correctly) we went through van gogh andy warhol and architecture before arriving at surrealism. i remember that image shifting on the projector.. the melty clocks over branches and sleeping horse and the way the world was warped. it felt like my mind melting over my new landscape (i had just moved from a fresh air east coast to a stucco and concrete desert. last year i was at the art museum with my godfather in san francisco, starting at a portrait. i told him how much i loved it--- he swiftly replied that salvador dali was an art slut who sat on his driveway and painted plates for $10 each to milk off of his own notoriety. thats pure poetry.

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we had about $18 in our account but wanted to have a journal at the magazine launch party to have another way of recording, well you know this journal came in a pack of 2 for $16, we held our breath as the card charged. it didn't really get filled up that night... lots of blank spaces that were filled with drinking and dancing and other things... some sexual references big across double pages like boys did in your yearbook across all your 7th grade promises.. but this one page.. made it all worth the purchase

 
 
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we make things

side by side

at the same time

sometimes

here

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i needed an excuse to wear diamonds on my tits.....ukno...... i have been liking making merch lately, we came out with two new things, one is a tshirt with a photo my popi took on self timer when he was 19 of what would be the mother of his children... he takes a lot of photos of a world i wont know, one of the best artists i know. for the next drop i just told cybelle to make what she wants to wear. she wears mostly crop white tank tops and collects bedazzled tops from each city she visits. i like what it reads, like if someone reads it to themselves out loud, what that connotation is, what it means to the wearer and to the observer, if you see it at all. if u see me at all. 

 
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funny how people have seen the same things i have but it always looks different

 
 
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in winter as a kid i was sledding and in a big puffy jacket that enveloped my whole body and the cold didn't get in my bones the way it started to when i got older and winters got way darker

 

she found these

when we were on the phone

and i thought that maybe

things wouldn't actually

turn out alright

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both sides

didn't make sense

so i didn't believe mine

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how fast do things long? forget to look in the mirror and you will know. 

 
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sometimes i feel stupid that i overthink social media

i think about it and overthink it

but i overthink everything, and the connotations of people reduced to a few images and words is an interesting one, you have got to admit. 

some people seem either unbothered unable to admit they feel the same or unable to know a life withou t it, and i fel kinda like... silly for even thinking it at all, everyone seems to pretend to have the simple answer to what it is they just won't share because it's too obvious or something

i get a shouler shrug, you know

i was getting mimosas slash sangria slash free cotton candy with my friend with sunset eyes and she said that social media wasn't that deep and that she was having a lot of fun with it, like a lot of ton and it was just a fun place to put pictures and images and ideas and organzie it all and it was a hobby

it is not a hobby i would choose,  would like to take up cake frosting instead

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it is an endearing and cold realization that most everyone is really scared

 

Then this will be painful
Sleeping in institutions, I lost my baby
If that ain't ever woke me up, then it's gone wake me
But I'm keeping a light up on my fire, then they took my baby
I man on kind, is doing his time, but it's for no reason
I mean the kind, that ride the pipe, something you free—something you free—something you free

 

 

 

Call your pappy, tell him that you happy
Shout it loud so they all know how you feel exactly
Inside sunny energize
Think about it like you feelin' alive
On the mama boy she swear to God
Lady said that she ain't into guys

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Young man, brotha brotha, you gotta fight for somethin'
Stand for somethin', brotha understand, God don't make the plays
Take the truth, get through, ride your wave, just keep it true

well fight the blues

we'll fight the blues

 

Thanks for the light, waitin' for the light
Change for a lifetime (what a wonderful life)
Thanks for the night, drinks for the night
Waitin' for the right time
(What a wonderful life)
(Changed for the better changed for the worse)
So far I done been and feelin' change, changes
So far I done been and feelin' change, changes

these are lyrics from asap rockys new album

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i spent the beginning of my life trying to make sense of it

 

measuring things and looking at the stars

learning languages and doing my times tables faster and faster

reading faster and faster

 

i was learning to live but now im wondering why i want to

 

my life wasn’t changed by art and artists it is owed to them, before i saw art i didn’t see life.. not this one… this one makes me happy… unexplainably.. happy isnt the right word it just makes me feel in it, that i am present in this experience 

 

its not a message that is easy to translate or pass on but im trying.