things that have been inspiring me lately
somewhere deeper than the little light up red hearts and shopping mall song lyrics...
anime moves in a different way, everything is glossy and detailed and simple and colorful and the light is a dimension in itself. i feel like watching anime has changed how i piece the world together--- how the layers all sit on top of each other--- how the shadows dance on the ground and on the walls of places. its hard for me to actually sit through a movie because i find the take on life so corny-- the way people speak or relate to each other or the way they depict relationships.. its a world i don't like to set foot in. the anime world leaks fantasy into my real world, leaking off the screen...
the possibility of things just burnt a little hole in my heart...
in my art class in elementary school that usually had a substitute that had us make origami (and yelled if we didn't fold correctly) we went through van gogh andy warhol and architecture before arriving at surrealism. i remember that image shifting on the projector.. the melty clocks over branches and sleeping horse and the way the world was warped. it felt like my mind melting over my new landscape (i had just moved from a fresh air east coast to a stucco and concrete desert. last year i was at the art museum with my godfather in san francisco, starting at a portrait. i told him how much i loved it--- he swiftly replied that salvador dali was an art slut who sat on his driveway and painted plates for $10 each to milk off of his own notoriety. thats pure poetry.
we had about $18 in our account but wanted to have a journal at the magazine launch party to have another way of recording, well you know this journal came in a pack of 2 for $16, we held our breath as the card charged. it didn't really get filled up that night... lots of blank spaces that were filled with drinking and dancing and other things... some sexual references big across double pages like boys did in your yearbook across all your 7th grade promises.. but this one page.. made it all worth the purchase
we make things
side by side
at the same time
i needed an excuse to wear diamonds on my tits.....ukno...... i have been liking making merch lately, we came out with two new things, one is a tshirt with a photo my popi took on self timer when he was 19 of what would be the mother of his children... he takes a lot of photos of a world i wont know, one of the best artists i know. for the next drop i just told cybelle to make what she wants to wear. she wears mostly crop white tank tops and collects bedazzled tops from each city she visits. i like what it reads, like if someone reads it to themselves out loud, what that connotation is, what it means to the wearer and to the observer, if you see it at all. if u see me at all.
funny how people have seen the same things i have but it always looks different
in winter as a kid i was sledding and in a big puffy jacket that enveloped my whole body and the cold didn't get in my bones the way it started to when i got older and winters got way darker
she found these
when we were on the phone
and i thought that maybe
things wouldn't actually
turn out alright
didn't make sense
so i didn't believe mine
how fast do things long? forget to look in the mirror and you will know.
sometimes i feel stupid that i overthink social media
i think about it and overthink it
but i overthink everything, and the connotations of people reduced to a few images and words is an interesting one, you have got to admit.
some people seem either unbothered unable to admit they feel the same or unable to know a life withou t it, and i fel kinda like... silly for even thinking it at all, everyone seems to pretend to have the simple answer to what it is they just won't share because it's too obvious or something
i get a shouler shrug, you know
i was getting mimosas slash sangria slash free cotton candy with my friend with sunset eyes and she said that social media wasn't that deep and that she was having a lot of fun with it, like a lot of ton and it was just a fun place to put pictures and images and ideas and organzie it all and it was a hobby
it is not a hobby i would choose, would like to take up cake frosting instead
it is an endearing and cold realization that most everyone is really scared
Then this will be painful
Sleeping in institutions, I lost my baby
If that ain't ever woke me up, then it's gone wake me
But I'm keeping a light up on my fire, then they took my baby
I man on kind, is doing his time, but it's for no reason
I mean the kind, that ride the pipe, something you free—something you free—something you free
Call your pappy, tell him that you happy
Shout it loud so they all know how you feel exactly
Inside sunny energize
Think about it like you feelin' alive
On the mama boy she swear to God
Lady said that she ain't into guys
Young man, brotha brotha, you gotta fight for somethin'
Stand for somethin', brotha understand, God don't make the plays
Take the truth, get through, ride your wave, just keep it true
well fight the blues
we'll fight the blues
Thanks for the light, waitin' for the light
Change for a lifetime (what a wonderful life)
Thanks for the night, drinks for the night
Waitin' for the right time
(What a wonderful life)
(Changed for the better changed for the worse)
So far I done been and feelin' change, changes
So far I done been and feelin' change, changes
these are lyrics from asap rockys new album
i spent the beginning of my life trying to make sense of it
measuring things and looking at the stars
learning languages and doing my times tables faster and faster
reading faster and faster
i was learning to live but now im wondering why i want to
my life wasn’t changed by art and artists it is owed to them, before i saw art i didn’t see life.. not this one… this one makes me happy… unexplainably.. happy isnt the right word it just makes me feel in it, that i am present in this experience
its not a message that is easy to translate or pass on but im trying.