Maybe Do This So You Will Feel Better
Put on my headphones, listen to cherry colored funk, it comes up on shuffle. Here are some things that you should maybe do to make yourself feel better.
open the window, not recommended if it’s too cold outside. if you are in 50-60 degree weather currently open them. I like to open my window and the door to my room and feel like stuff can flow in and out of it, I don’t feel so trapped in thoughts or questions anymore.
Reorganize your wardrobe and donate stuff you don’t want in your life. Clear your space, get rid of shit. When I need to shift my mind or get myself out of a funk I move the bed, hang something up on the walls, get alllll my clothes off the floor, take old stuff off the wall, wash my bed sheets.
While you are at it, go wash the rest of your clothes.
Please, I’m like begging you.. get off your phone for at least a day. Put that shit in your drawer, ask you roommate/sibling/friend to hide it from you. Just don’t give yourself an opportunity to simultaneously waste hours and question your whole existence by comparison to someone’s virtual existence. Just live in that big dumb head of yours and listen to your big dumb thoughts with no added noise.
Eat a good meal… Lately I have been making smoothies and eating seaweed and green tea mocha ice cream from trader joes. But find your thing.
I have this plastic bottle of rosewater spray I just mist on my face like I’m a plant or something. It can calm me down when I’m getting anxious or just make me feel cleaner and more refreshed. You can buy at the drugstore, trader joes, or make yourself by ripping up rose petals and putting in a bit of boiling water. Strain the petals and fill into an old plastic spray bottle. Spritz ur face.
Go exercise. JUST GO DO IT. I think best time for me is in the morning, right when I wakeup, before I think of a to-do list that needs to be done during the day. I have been biking and going to the YMCA to swim. Although one day I didn’t check the schedule and ended up at free swim where there were about 50 families in the pool. Through my goggled eyes I saw floating bandaids and kicking feet and got right back out.
Get a new journal. Brand new, none of that old shit in there. Start fresh. Draw, write, jot, do whatever. Repeat as needed for a refresh.
PLEASE cut off toxic people. Note that toxic people are not necessarily obviously bad people. They can even be a friend, but maybe your friend is so so sweet, someone you love so dearly, but keeps posting pics of their perfect body or how much money they have and how successful they currently are in life.. you are like FUCK I’m chubby and broke and failing… cut them off. Just for now while you are fragile and can’t stomach being happy for someone else. It’s fine, it’s not forever. You are on your own journey and shit happens on your time. Just remember that, and get rid of anything that makes you feel UNMOTIVATED, SLUGGISH, SAD. Remember that a lot of the media you consume is in your control so clean that shit up just like you clean your room.
Watch some sketchy movies from the 90s.. like another day in paradise.
Bleach your hair. Cut your hair. Go through a phase. WHY NOT. Anyone who passes judgment is also just wanting a blue buzzcut and hella closeted so give them love.
Maybe read erotica instead of watching porn for a change. I feel like most porn ends up being traumatic slash makes me feel like I need to go confess even though I can barely spell the word corinthians.
CALL A FRIEND. TALK ABOUT DUMB STUFF. TELL THEM YOU LOVE THEM.
Listen to music that makes you want to be the shit/kill shit/ do shit. Get off of your Lana Del Rey bullshit until further notice.. UNLESS it’s a Lana song that makes you want to be the shit/kill shit/fuck shit/do shit. There is a fine line.
PLS remember this will all pass. You will feel alive again. You will feel joy again. You will be carefree again. You will one day find yourself nude jumping into some body of water with people you just met and won’t believe that you were crusty cold greasy haired laying in an unmade bed for the better part of your winter days. It’s gonna be okay.
Maybe watch some more movies. Like: Spring Breakers, Kiki’s Delivery Service, Fantasia 2000, American Honey, Daisies, Beach Rats, Priscilla Queen of the Desert… Honestly Priscilla is the answer. Top of the list. Watch that right now, open a new browser and torrent that.