Messy Hearts Club: Quintin

“what is something that everybody, I mean everybody, has in common?”

I got a reply, “Love. and then more importantly, loss.”

I met this girl named rose, I first met her in 10th grade, she was a year younger. I wasn’t looking for a relationship, but when I met her, I knew she was the love of my life.

Wait, how’d you know?

I’d never met someone I clicked with as much as her. Our first day, everything was perfect. We’d been talking for a few weeks, texting mostly. Then I drove up, an hour to see her, along the coast of California. We went to a park, spun in circles in the grass, went down to the boardwalk. She brought me to a rooftop in Huntington Beach. The wind was strong enough where I could hop on my board and the wind would propel me forward. We got tacos, and it started raining. But even once we went back to her house, we just connected. It didn’t take long before we said I love you. In the back of my mind I knew it wouldn't last... I was going away for college. So I guess my heartbreak is, she had to stay across the country. I left her.

Are you doing long distance?

We are, she’s worth it, there’s no doubt about it. It’s heartbreaking for the timing to be off. Even in the future, it can all change suddenly. A lot is up in the air. It’s crazy, I never thought I’d be here. I didn’t know distance would be this hard. They all said it’d be, but you don’t know until it’s you. Like I said, I knew she was the one. And leaving the one you love is hard.

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Did you ever consider breaking up?

I thought about it. Not because I didn’t want to be with her, but because I wanted to spare her the pain. I have my passions in New York. That means I have to focus on my job. I considered it most, because I consider everything. I over analyze with hypothetical situations.

What did you learn from this about yourself and love?

I think in terms of distance, I learned what it means to put someone first. Not that I did that, I mean, I’m here. Being away from her made me realize how important she is. How important physical contact is, not even in a sexual way, even just a hug, a touch. Those moments are very big and underrated. This relationship opened me up to the world. Before, I had buried my feelings. So I learned how to open up and really feel from being with her.Who Rose is, as a person, she brings out the essence of being real.